Breakfast day 1

Breakfast-

Ok!  So!  I just ate breakfast on day 1 of 8.  I had to work today so I didn't have time to eat anything from home.  Work does luckily have plain oats so I ate those with blueberries and cranberries mixed in.  I am not allowed to do any sugar or sugar substitutes which kinda stunk.  I so wanted to put just a dash of brown sugar on top, but didn't.  I actually had to grab another co-workers breakfast for her.  I got her the breakfast of champions...eggs, bacon, potatoes, 2 biscuits with gravy.  It looked yummy!  But...I think it actually helped me.  Yes...I wanted to eat the biscuit, but it felt almost normal.  I got off the floor and got breakfast as usual.  This time, it just wasn't for me.  I have also decided that I am not going to weigh myself until my 8 days are through.  I just don't want anything to discourage me.  Anyways...back to work now!  Oh...and I drank my coffee this morning with coconut milk, cinnamon, and a dash of vanilla.  I also added two splenda.  It will be the only time I allow any sugar substitutes for the day.  Wish me luck!

Lunch-I did great at lunch!  Fish, berry smoothie, broccolli, water.  I have had 32 ounces of water today so far.  I did have a Diet Dr. Pepper because I haven't felt right today.  I was getting a headache and thought i might need the caffeine.

BUT...it is 3pm and I soooo want something not on my diet!  I just want to eat a giant bag of cookies and a good cup of coffee!  Don't know how to make it through.  Remember that I want to be thin again.  Bathing suit season!  159!  Uggghhh!  Think skinny thoughts!

Day before diet try #956...haha!

So...Here it is.  The night before I get serious once again about dieting.  I feel like I have tried to lose weight 956 times since Brooks' birth and every time I have failed.  Why have I failed?  I just don't know.  I have never had this issue before!  I have always "thought" that I could lose weight, but overall, I felt that I would be classified as on the thin side.  I was about 33 weeks along with Brooks' pregnancy when I noticed that I was gaining more weight than my other two previous pregnancies.  I had just been laid off from a job that I really did love.  I had to switch back to the hospital setting and the long 12.5hr shifts.  My initial reward was to at least eat what I wanted while I had to be there!  A treat here and there turned into my usual meal.  That of course has lead to my crazy weight gain!  So here I am...19 months later and 20 pounds heavier with no clue of what to do to keep motivated this time!  I have tried getting steven, my friends, my mom, on board in helping me, but no one really feels comfortable telling me to stay away from unhealthy foods.  Anyways...I am going to try to write about why I want to lose weight and my journey here on this blog.  Maybe that will help.  I don't even know if I will tell anyone about the posts.  it may just be my journal to help keep me motivated.  A part of the problem is that my mind still feels like I am 138 pounds.  When I pick an unhealthy choice, I see the skinny girl who can get away with eating 3 cookies after pizza.  I want to write this to remind myself that I am pushing 160.  I want to have energy to run and play.  I want to prove to myself and everyone else that I can do this.  So... I am committing to 8 whole days of eating super healthy and exercising 6 out of the 8 days.  I can sooooo do this!  I have got to do this!  I am flabby and within 10 pounds of Steven.  Actually...Steven's lowest weight was 161!  That is 2 pounds from where I am this morning!  Anyways...Remember that I will eat good food again.  Start first with these 8 days!  Day 1...well...I was gonna say, day 1, bring on the no coffee day.  But I am really thinking, crap!  NO COFFEE????  But it is only 8 days right? 
PS.  I am hoping that these 8 days will jump start me to want to go longer.  But knowing my brain, I have to think in short increments, and not forever increments.  I fail to quickly when I say forever.
Wish me luck and pray for motivation and strength!